One of Those Mornings
by vampoof94
Summary: Riza is not in a good mood. What will happen? Can Roy survive? Ed decides to play a prank on Roy with ink. It's better than it sounds. haha please review and enjoy. : Royai. rated for language


**AN: Yeah it's almost 3am and I really wanted to write this. I think it is funny so I hope you do as well. I decided to give my friend what she wanted. That is Riza shooting her gun at Roy. XD Please leave reviews haha enjoy. :)**

Riza Hawkeye was not in a good mood that morning. She woke up when her alarm went off, but instead of hitting the button to turn it off she threw it across the room.

'_Damn alarm! I am awake! No need to give me a headache!_' She got up and got dressed but the realized that she couldn't find her jacket anywhere.

'_Where did I put the stupid thing?_' She walked around and checked everywhere. She even asked Black Hayate even though she wouldn't get a response. Riza gave up and decided to go to work without it. She walked out the door and headed to work. On her way she saw some children playing ball. One of the kids didn't see her and threw the ball which hit her in the head.

'_What the hell! Stupid kids!_' She looked at all of them with a glare that could scare even the toughest man. One little boy peed his pants and the others cowered in fear.

"Don't you brats know how to look before you throw!" She picked up the ball and threw it at the boy who peed himself and it hit him in the head.

"Now how does it feel? Not good I know." She walked away from the cowering children but stopped and turned around. They were looking at her and she pulled out her gun and shot the ball.

'_That will teach them._' She took one last look at the children before walking on. They had all ran away screaming.

'_I Bet that the Colonel will be lazy like he is everyday._' She sighed and continued on. When she walked into the office everyone knew she was not having a good morning. They immediately got to work so that she didn't have a reason to shoot them on site. Of course there was one man who didn't notice it. Yet.

"Hey! Good morning everyone!" Roy Mustang was so happy he didn't notice Riza's glare at the good morning part. She went to her desk and sat down to work but Roy wouldn't leave her alone.

"Hey lieutenant. How are you on this beautiful day?" Everyone was looking at Roy like he was crazy. They were ready to bolt when the bullets went flying.

"Just great. Sir." She didn't even bother looking at him just continued working.

"You don't sound happy." He looked at her and then he finally realized that she had her hand on the butt of her pistol. She wanted him to leave her alone. Roy backed away slowly and cowered behind his desk until she moved her hand.

"Thank you sir."

Everyone was quiet until lunch. When they were dismissed they all shot up out of their seats and ran out the door.

'_Idiots._' Riza just stared at the door. She got up and left the room but headed to the shooting range instead of going to lunch. She took her usual booth and started shooting the target.

_BANG!_

'_That shot sucked.'_

_BANG!_

'_What now I lost my great aim?' _Riza was getting mad because she thought her shots weren't perfect. She was caught up in shooting and didn't notice that Roy had walked in.

"Hey." Riza jumped and turned around but she 'accidentally' fired a round at the Colonel. It just missed his head.

"I'm so sorry sir! I didn't see you there!" She was freaking out because she almost killed her commanding officer.

"It's okay. Just PLEASE put the gun down." He was sweating bullets and was stiff as a board. When she finally put her gun down he relaxed.

"I brought you lunch since you never came."

"Uhhh…Thanks sir." She took her lunch and sat down.

"So you seem angry today."

"Sorry it's just one of those mornings."

"Why don't you tell me about it." Roy was ready to listen to her. As long as that gun isn't in her hand.

"Well I woke up and my alarm clock was really annoying so I threw it at the wall." Roy couldn't help but chuckle as he imagined Riza throwing her clock in frustration.

"Then I couldn't find my jacket anywhere so I had to leave without it. Then these annoying little kids threw a ball at my head. I taught them a lesson they will NEVER forget."

"Please tell me you didn't shoot them. I don't need paperwork just because you killed innocent kids playing."

"No sir I shot the ball but I did yell at them. Nothing serious . One boy did pee his pants though." Roy just stared dumbfounded. He really didn't want to get on Riza's bad side today.

"You must have scared them. You shouldn't do that to kids."

"Sorry sir but they needed to learn." They both got up to get back to the office. They walked back in silence. That is until Armstrong came out of nowhere.

"HELLO! BEAUTIFUL DAY WE HAVE!" His sparkles were everywhere. They couldn't escape.

"THESE SPARKLES HAVE BEEN PASSED DOWN THE ARMSTRONG LINE FOR GENERATIONS!" With that said a whole bunch of sparkles flew at them.

"Armstrong. Hello." Roy just wanted to get out of here as quickly as possible. Riza shot the big sparkly alchemist a glare that made him shut up. He saw she wasn't in a good mood today.

"LIEUTENANT! YOU NEED A HUG! HUGS HAVE BEEN PASSED DOWN…" He didn't get a chance to finish as a bullet flew right by his head. It grazed the one piece of hair on his head.

"I strongly suggest that you leave now." Riza was pointing her gun at him and he bolted down the hallway leaving her and Roy alone.

"Let's go Colonel." Roy followed without speaking. He was to afraid of his Lieutenant. They got back to the office and the others noticed that Roy was deathly pale. They knew Riza was not to be angered at all today. Little did they know that Edward Elric had paid them a visit. Riza was working when her pen quit working.

'_Damn pen!_' She threw it at the wall as the others watched. Riza got up and walked to the Colonel's desk.

"Colonel can I borrow a pen? Mine broke"

"Sure Lieutenant." He handed her his pen and watched her walk back to her desk.

'_Yeah Hawkeye it broke AFTER you threw it at the wall._' He chuckled a little and Riza didn't hear him. Riza sat down and started to work when the pen exploded in her hand. Ink covered her desk and it was on her clothes and face. She looked shocked but it quickly turned to anger as she pulled her gun out. Riza shot at Roy who was running around saying it wasn't his fault. The others were under their desks hiding.

"Colonel! Why the hell did you do that!" She reloaded her gun as Edward walked back into the room.

"I swear Hawkeye I didn't do it!" Edward looked at the two officers and said

"Um what's going on?" He then saw that Riza was covered in ink and his face drained of color. He started to back away but Hughes stopped him.

"Hey guys." Hughes looked at the sight before him and laughed. Roy and Riza stopped and stared at them.

"The Colonel here decided to give me his pen that exploded on me!"

"I didn't do it!" Roy was getting mad and then Hughes said

"No Ed did. I saw him while you two were out." Ed gave him the dirtiest look and then stopped because he just heard the click of the safety on Riza's other gun. He looked and sure enough it was pointed right at him.

"Edward I think we should take a little walk."

"Wait before you do I want pictures!" Hughes started taking pictures of the scene before him and then ran out of the office. He knew Riza would come after him to if he stayed.

Everyone was still and quiet until Riza spoke up.

"Colonel me and Edward here are going to take a little walk. I'll be back soon." She grabbed Ed and walked towards the shooting range.

The guys got up and looked at each other.

"Colonel can we go home? We don't want to die today." Havoc asked as he slowly got out a cigarette.

"Sure go home I'll deal with Hawkeye." He left the room and headed to the one place he knew that Riza would go to.

'_I hope she hasn't killed Ed. I need to torture him about his height._' He heard screams coming from the shooting range and looked in the room. He saw Ed running around crying as Riza shot at him with a very creepy smile on her face. He realized that her face and clothes were still covered in ink. He laughed at what he saw and Riza turned around.

"Okay Hawkeye I think you tortured the shrimp enough."

"WHO YOU CALLING A MIDGET SO SMA…" Edward didn't finish because Riza's glare was upon him again. He peed his pants and ran for the door but was stopped by Roy's arm.

"Aww…He peed himself." Roy busted out laughing and Ed finally managed to run away.

'_Note to self. NEVER mess with Riza._' He ran out the building as fast as he could. Back in the shooting range Roy was still laughing as Riza stood watching.

"Hawkeye your still covered in ink." He finally managed to stop laughing and took her by the arm. He dragged her to the bathroom.

"Sir?"

"I'm going to help you get cleaned up so don't shoot me." He started to wipe off the ink on her face and he could finally see that she was indeed blushing.

"There Hawkeye your face is clean for the most part."

"Thank you sir." Riza didn't look at him because she knew she was blushing. Roy couldn't look away from her face and he felt himself leaning in to kiss her. He was stopped by a bullet that flew by his head.

"I don't think so sir." Riza was laughing at the look on his face. He looked scared and surprised. She started to leave the bathroom but turned around again. She gave Roy a quick kiss on the cheek before walking out.

'_She just kissed me!_' Roy was acting like a child on Christmas morning who got a present he loved. He ran out of the building and all the way home.

'_I guess I don't hate ALL the days that Riza is in a bad mood._' He had gotten home and laid down in bed.

'_Oh yeah I forgot to tell Hawkeye that she left her jacket in the office the other day. Oh well_.' He fell asleep and had a very good dream. Riza had also gotten home.

'_I bet Roy is happy that I gave him a kiss. I know I am. Today was too weird of a day._' Riza then fell asleep. Her dreams were also filled with happiness. The next morning she awoke and was in a great mood.


End file.
